devastated

ughh i am sooo sad.. i feel stupid cuz im like sooo sad over my dog and i should get over it but its so hard.. i mean i really thought she was going to be with me for more then 8 years and i wouldve never guessed that she'd be gone while im in korea. i still haven't talked to my mom.. im so mad at her for making the decision of putting her to sleep without me... i honestly still belive that she couldve made it like she was find before i left and shes such a strong dog well at least in my eyes.. i mean how much can a dog do you know? but to me my dog was just so perfect! and thats why it breaks my heard even more. i still don't belive at all that shes dead.. i really hope this was like a really mean joke that my moms pulling on me.. i don't even feel like she was realy sick i think my mom did something to her well not kill her but she didn't like take good care of her so danbi became sick and my mom didn't really put that much effort into saving her or my mom like gave her away? ughh i don't know my mom never really liked my dog in the first place and she would always threaten to take her away from me and now hearing that shes reallly gone is getting me so confused and i still don't want to believe it.. ugh i hate that this is all happening while im in korea and the weird thing is that my mom wont even tell me the full detailed story on what happend to my dog which makes it even more fishy and annoying.. ughh my mom is so annoying and i miss my dog.. this is just breaking my heart all over again

:( :( :( :( :( she is so cute..